My heart of flesh is whole

Let me be frank with you. I have days where I laugh at myself for being Christian; where I cannot comprehend how I [the person that I've been forever] could believe such an incredulous notion as Christ crucified. I used to mock the idea of God. "Ha--what a crutch! WEAKLINGS!", I would shout...I would laugh and scorn anyone who went to church. What was church anyways, besides a building full of lunatics!? I convinced myself that only fools believed in God [and of course I also managed to convince myself that I was no fool]. I argued that it was in their very Bible, their beloved Scriptures, where Christ said that His very Cross was foolishness. I bickered with anyone that Christians were hopeless and pathetic.

Jesus said that He came to save those who needed saving, and let-me-tell-you, the last person that thought they needed saving was me! My self-righteousness should have won an award. I was thoroughly convinced that I DESERVED their mythical heaven and more! Their Bible was full of contradictions...or so I had thought. I was so self-assured that I had studied enough to know Christianity. I esteemed it as nothing more than a plague. I'd watched too many documentaries on the Universe to be able to believe some lie they called "The Gospel". They said that it was good news, and I just spit in their faces.
My cold mind and hardened heart refused it. I'd been so scarred that I thought love was a complete lie...I thought that humanity had made it all up. I believed that "love" existed solely to rub more salt in my wounds of sorrow. There was no way that any "Savior" could fix my brokenness; my heart was beyond repair.

But there was one fateful day. Yes, that Easter Sunday over two and a half years ago where........ I died. I gave my life to Christ. He plucked me out of darkness and placed me into light. I truly feel as if I had no say in the matter. I came to the Easter service an atheist, and somehow I left as a new man.

Now, of course I faced opposition. Of course there were obstacles that when looking back, I cannot understand how they were overcome. There were hardships. It took a very, very, very long time for Christ's love to penetrate past the scars on my soul. It took even longer for His Grace to wash away religiosity. And it is taking longer still, for His Spirit to instill an unwavering faith in my doubtful heart.
So like I said, let me be frank. There are days when I don't know all the answers to every theological question that people throw at me. I still sin; I'm not perfect. Time after time, I am confused and frustrated and I FAIL ROYALLY! But to be fair, I can never deny that my heart is now whole and complete. The world will never be able to deny that there was once a "Rhia" who lived on this earth that spewed hatred and harbored continents full of hurt. And the world will never be able to deny that that man is dead, and now there is a new one. I finally have a heart of flesh instead of stone.

So if you, dear beloved sister or brother, are facing opposition on all sides by the world's intellect, their persecution, their scorn, than remember your old self. Realize the progress that has come to pass; progress that no human or created thing could have brought about. It was only His love that healed your heart and made you new.


EZEKIEL 16:5-8
5"No eye looked with pity on you to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you. Rather you were thrown out into the open field, for you were abhorred on the day you were born. 6When I passed by you and saw you squirming in your blood, I said to you while you were in your blood, 'Live!' Yes, I said to you while you were in your blood, 'Live!' 7I made you numerous like plants of the field. Then you grew up, became tall and reached the age for fine ornaments; your breasts were formed and your hair had grown. Yet you were naked and bare. 8Then I passed by you and saw you, and behold, you were at the time for love; so I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness I also swore to you and entered into a covenant with you so that you became Mine," declares the Lord GOD.