Humanity, what do you see?

Do you ever look past a person's clothing style? Don't you want to be able to look past someone's skin? To look past their muscles, their bones, their flesh? To see someone in their center, their soul?

Boy, do I ever... and it's because I want the world to do that with me. I don't want you to look at me and see a girl; part-Asian, mostly American. I don't want you to see 5'5". I don't want to be known for a pants-size, or for the clothes I wear. I don't want you to see my hair color, or not-so-straight teeth. Please look past that. Look and see my heart. Do you see where it dwells? Look at my soul and who it belongs to.

I am a servant of Jesus Christ. My heart dwells in His heart. I belong to Him. He is my Beloved and I am His. My beauty is not worn on my sleeve--it's deep within me. I am beautiful because He is. Anything in me that's worth looking at is truly Christ in me.

My heart of flesh is whole

Let me be frank with you. I have days where I laugh at myself for being Christian; where I cannot comprehend how I [the person that I've been forever] could believe such an incredulous notion as Christ crucified. I used to mock the idea of God. "Ha--what a crutch! WEAKLINGS!", I would shout...I would laugh and scorn anyone who went to church. What was church anyways, besides a building full of lunatics!? I convinced myself that only fools believed in God [and of course I also managed to convince myself that I was no fool]. I argued that it was in their very Bible, their beloved Scriptures, where Christ said that His very Cross was foolishness. I bickered with anyone that Christians were hopeless and pathetic.

Jesus said that He came to save those who needed saving, and let-me-tell-you, the last person that thought they needed saving was me! My self-righteousness should have won an award. I was thoroughly convinced that I DESERVED their mythical heaven and more! Their Bible was full of contradictions...or so I had thought. I was so self-assured that I had studied enough to know Christianity. I esteemed it as nothing more than a plague. I'd watched too many documentaries on the Universe to be able to believe some lie they called "The Gospel". They said that it was good news, and I just spit in their faces.
My cold mind and hardened heart refused it. I'd been so scarred that I thought love was a complete lie...I thought that humanity had made it all up. I believed that "love" existed solely to rub more salt in my wounds of sorrow. There was no way that any "Savior" could fix my brokenness; my heart was beyond repair.

But there was one fateful day. Yes, that Easter Sunday over two and a half years ago where........ I died. I gave my life to Christ. He plucked me out of darkness and placed me into light. I truly feel as if I had no say in the matter. I came to the Easter service an atheist, and somehow I left as a new man.

Now, of course I faced opposition. Of course there were obstacles that when looking back, I cannot understand how they were overcome. There were hardships. It took a very, very, very long time for Christ's love to penetrate past the scars on my soul. It took even longer for His Grace to wash away religiosity. And it is taking longer still, for His Spirit to instill an unwavering faith in my doubtful heart.
So like I said, let me be frank. There are days when I don't know all the answers to every theological question that people throw at me. I still sin; I'm not perfect. Time after time, I am confused and frustrated and I FAIL ROYALLY! But to be fair, I can never deny that my heart is now whole and complete. The world will never be able to deny that there was once a "Rhia" who lived on this earth that spewed hatred and harbored continents full of hurt. And the world will never be able to deny that that man is dead, and now there is a new one. I finally have a heart of flesh instead of stone.

So if you, dear beloved sister or brother, are facing opposition on all sides by the world's intellect, their persecution, their scorn, than remember your old self. Realize the progress that has come to pass; progress that no human or created thing could have brought about. It was only His love that healed your heart and made you new.


EZEKIEL 16:5-8
5"No eye looked with pity on you to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you. Rather you were thrown out into the open field, for you were abhorred on the day you were born. 6When I passed by you and saw you squirming in your blood, I said to you while you were in your blood, 'Live!' Yes, I said to you while you were in your blood, 'Live!' 7I made you numerous like plants of the field. Then you grew up, became tall and reached the age for fine ornaments; your breasts were formed and your hair had grown. Yet you were naked and bare. 8Then I passed by you and saw you, and behold, you were at the time for love; so I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness I also swore to you and entered into a covenant with you so that you became Mine," declares the Lord GOD.

Ma poésie pour mon Jesus

I wrote this for my french class and ended up really liking how it came out. The translation is below the original :].

le coeur que Quelqu'un a tenu
l'espoir que quelqu'un a rêvé
les poésies que quelqu'un a lues
les chansons que quelqu'un a chantées
le souhait que quelqu'un a cru
le ciel que Quelqu'un a mis en bouteille
les prières que Quelqu'un a reçues
l'amour que l'été a capturé

~~~

the heart that Someone held
the hope that someone believed
the poems that someone read
the songs that someone sang
the wish that someone believed
the sky that Someone bottled
the prayers that Someone received
the love that summer captured

This deepened my day

Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:

where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. "
— Pablo Neruda

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6 Days

Oh the psalms, the psalms

Have you ever struggled with patience? with wanting something RIGHT now? with hoping for something and never getting it?

Here's the best solution I've found.

Psalm 62:5-8 (New King James Version)

5 My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
7 In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.

8 Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah

I always loved "Where's Waldo?"

Can you find me?? :)

Beauty

I'm going to be perfectly honest. I have always struggled with the concept of being "beautiful". The idea that I am an attractive person has forever been something I've found ridiculously funny and definitely impossible. However, the most unfortunate fact of all is that I am certain that there are countless others who have been/are plagued with this destructive mindset.

If this is you, than you know what it feels like to look in the mirror. You know the sinking emotion to like someone, but lose all hope due to the lie that all you offer is a good personality. You probably hate trying on clothes, getting ready in the morning, social events, and the worst of all....PICTURES! Oh the devil created every camera in the world! [Or so we've declared in dramatic moments of self-hatred.]

Oh dear reader, I understand. I really know each of those slimy feelings. And wouldn't you agree that they're the absolute worst! They ruin your day, your self-esteem, and your attitude. No matter how hard you try those stupid self-help techniques, like telling yourself that you're beautiful when you look in the mirror [so awkward], you just never seem to get over the "you're-ugly" bug....like some bad case of the flu.

Firstly, I would like to help you recognize that all of those feelings are from the fiery pit of hell. The devil wants you to think that you're useless, ugly, unlovable; all of the things that will hold you back from growing into who God made you to be. With that said, I'd like to share a break-though story of mine. =]

I've really been struggling with the "you're-ugly" bug lately. I've found myself in the place with feelings for a person, and yet I've been weighed down with the much too familiar burden low self-esteem has. I must confess that I've allowed it to morph, on occasion, into jealousy for other girls' appearances; however, the Lord has finally broken through with truth! He gently reminded me of my origin. He broke it down nice and simple in an easily understood way:

1. Jesus Christ is absolutely beautiful. Human words fail to describe it fully. [Daniel 10:5-6] [Revelation 4:2-3]
2. I was created in His image. [Gen 1:27]
3. Therefore, God had to have created me with His beauty. [Song of Solomon 4:7]

WOAH! Hold up! I'm beautiful!? WHAT!? You're kidding right? ME...? This awkward, clumsy, confused girl could actually be beautiful...........................!?!?!

According to God and to His perfect Word: YES!

And it's not because of anything that I've done or can do. All of my features and attributes were designed by the Lord. [This is the most important application point.] All I have to do to be beautiful is allow myself to be who God created me to be.

And so my friend. Those three numbered statements apply to you as well. You were created by Him; therefore you truly, truly are beautiful.

8.29.09

It's been a few days since I returned from my amazing trip to London. God manifested Himself there in more ways than I was ready for, and it was truly awe-inspiring. I learned so much about His heart through the beauty that flows from His creation. And so, now that I'm back in the states, I've been challenged by the Lord to seek for Him with a new passion and zeal; to look in places that previously had not seemed likely to hold His glory. Thus far, I've found Him on a bike ride in the middle of the night, in the branches of a tree with golden leaves, and at the bottom of my coffee mug. [All of those stories are just as great as this...] Yet the reason I'm writing this note to you, dear person, is to recount this morning when I found my most precious Savior on the side of the road at sunrise.

I naturally woke up at about five till 6:00 this morning with the feeling that this day possessed more than its surface held. I had this undying urge to go far away to the crest of a mountain or to the flourishing depths of a ravine--and so I dressed and embarked. I rode with no convictions on my rickety bicycle, with a chain that breaks at least once per outing and annoyingly veers left once my hands leave the handle bars. With iPod going and stocking cap on, I peddled East. I took a road less traveled [literally—not in some cliché sense] whose bike path narrows and nearly disappears making it dangerous for riders, especially when they share the road with drivers who are late for work, but I kept on. A still, small voice kept saying, "Keep to this path. Continue. Just around that next corner." Fifteen minutes into my ride I spotted a small, open patch of dirt on the side of the road; it seemed like the only place to stop and reassess my journey's end. I parked, dismounted, and took a seat among the weeds--the kind that, finally freed from a gardener's fetters, consume the earth.

And then I looked up.

The sky was marble. Pink against blue with wisps of dark purple and hopes of pale yellow that kissed special clouds into gold. It was overwhelmingly beautiful. I couldn't tell one cloud from the next, and that's when I found another, new, special piece of my Lord's heart. He said to me, "Just like these clouds intermingle—so should you and I mix together. Strip away your barriers, and let Me consume you. I want to be in every part of your life. Fall into My depths so that no one will be able to distinguish where you end and I begin. Let your heart to dwell in My heart."

I was mesmerized. Entranced. Enthralled. In love with the glory of my Lord.

And so now I challenge you, dear reader, to search for such truth. Look in places that are not normally thought of, for God is in every corner of the earth. As the English Standard Version of the Bible puts it:

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. ~Matthew 7:7


All for Him.

This Made Me Smile

Relationships are sticky things

If you are human, you have probably experienced the desire to dip into a fairy tale once or twice. You want to live happily ever after with your Prince Charming or your Sleeping Beauty....but life always seems to throw in the poisoned apples, the evil step-sisters, or even a Maleficent or two. You were always told that "good things come to those who wait", but who in the world enjoys waiting!? You figure that you're practically a senior citizen by now and you better get those church bells ringing soon or else you'll be too ripe for the picking. And even if you're not concerned about being single at your age, what about in five years?... in ten? Will you be worried then?

There are so many things throughout the world that tell you to go out and find love, and if you can't find it, trick yourself and settle for less. I know that I listen to the lies all the time, but when you realize just how dangerous those lies are, please reconsider how you handle your heart.

When you're dealing with relationships, there's so much more to think about than "that person is so attractive" or "he/she makes my heart flutter" [mind you, neither of those are bad things when they are appropriate]. The Lord of the heavens and earth designed us as relational people. We crave and desire to be loved, because that is exactly why we were created. God fashioned us out of the dirt just so He could love us. Our life goal is to enjoy the Lord forever =]. We try to fill that Jesus-shaped hole in our heart with everything else but Him, and we're so quick to try and "complete ourselves". When another person says "i love you" and that they want to spend the rest of their life with you, we jump on the opportunity like ants on a picnic sandwich. But that special person who's saying these things to you, wasn't the first. Since the beginning of time God has called to you with His perfect love, inviting you into His perfection forever.

So let me just ask, what makes the guy/girl that you're trying to fill your heart with better? Is it that they just understand you.... they make you feel loved.... they make you special things to show how much they care.....or maybe it's their patience with you. Maybe it's that no matter how many times you've hurt them, they say that they forgive you and hug you really tight...............gosh, i must agree with you, they sound pretty great, but I know someone who has done all of that and so so so much more!

Now, I know it's corny to say "Jesus loves you" or to say "Jesus is better", but those statements are true. All of those attributes that you are attracted to in that special someone are mere glimpses of God's perfection. I'm not saying that the person you're filling your heart with is bad, but they're just not meant for that occupation. They're supposed to be a tangible example of God's love....they're not supposed to replace it. Those things that they do out of their love for you pail in comparison to what the Lord has done. Jesus Christ died on that Cross because He couldn't bear the idea of not spending eternity with you. He created the world for you to enjoy! Every sunset that you've watched with your girlfriend/boyfriend God made it for you! He will ALWAYS forgive. He is ALWAYS patient, and He is more beautiful than anyone, anything, or any place, period.

Like the title says, relationships are sticky things, but when God is in your heart, and you've given Him control, the other relationships in your life don't seem so important. They become much less sticky, because you've let God come in and clean up the mess. The fairy tale ending is waiting for you, and Prince Charming has saved you not only from an evil serpent, but from a fiery pit of eternal suffering!!!!!!! Wow! =]

Examine your heart and see what you're trying to fill it with. Are you putting a created person in the place meant for the Creator? I can promise you that if you allow Jesus to enter into His puzzle piece spot, you will never, ever, ever, ever regret it. He will never let you down. He will never break your heart, because He created love, exudes love and is love.

Are you over it?

28"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
29"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.
30"For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

-Matthew 11:28-30


This dear, dear boy, who I have not yet had the pleasure to meet, could have so easily been weary and heavy-laden. He could have so quickly been weighed down by the burdens in his life.....but he wasn't. I won't spoil the story, look and see for yourself.

http://www.abcchurch.org/clayton/highlife.htm

Jesus was speaking to the multitudes of people when he said "Come to Me ALL who are weary and heavy-laden...", but I am positive that He's speaking to you too. I wish I knew who you are, whoever you happen to be, my reader. Jesus is saying this to you, just like He said it to the multitudes 2,000 years ago, and just like He reminded me tonight.

Life has seasons, just like our planet. There are plentiful, wet seasons. There are labor-filled harvests. There are restful periods of waiting. There are meticulous seasons of planting. And there are seasons of unyielding, destitute dryness.

If we try to get through all of the seasons on our own strength, we're going to fall on our faces. And depending on the seasons, the ground's either going to be muddy, covered in crops, covered in manure, or rock-hard. Anyway we look at it....it's not going to be fun. We can't make it on our own. When we think we can take on the world, we give ourselves burdens no man is meant to bear.

There is rest for us. There is peace for everyone. There is restoration, and joy, and salvation.

So it's almost Valentine's Day and I'm stuck on Love

You know how when you do something over and over and over again it looses it's "umph"...like how the pledge of allegiance all throughout public school turns into "eye pledgg a lee junce to thuf lag uhv the blahblahblah"

A wonderful treasure that should never loose it's umph but unfortunately tends to be forgotten is the verse John 3:16

I mean I understand that the Word of God never comes back void, and I totally support the spreading of the Gospel...but come on!!! Can we really just print a name with some letters and think that we bird-brained humanity will get it!?!? In the Great Commission, Jesus gave His mandate for us to GO AND DISCIPLE all people. That means....you gotta go....and you gotta disciple...as in move yo little tooshie and start lovin on da peoples. [Using His undying love as your foundation and sustenance of course.] He never said to scribble a part of the message on the UNDERSIDE of things we throw away!!!! We secretly put it on the bottom of soft-drink cups at fast-food chains, or inside the fold of a shopping bag......I meannnnn REALLLLYYY!?!?!?

We are a fallen people that need to wake up and smell the wonderful coffee that JESUS LOVES! No because of anything that we did, do, or will ever attempt, but solely because

GOD so loved the world, that He sent His ONLY Son, that WHOEVERRRRRR believes in Him shall not perish but have EVER-STINKING-LASTING LIFEEEEEE!!!!


AHHH!!! I hate the evilness of society that I am so prone to. I feel like we've degraded the Good News into another "peldgg uhv a lee junce". Even me, someone who loves the Lord with all her heart, mind, soul, and strength is guilty of forgetting the potency of the Gospel. I will be the first to admit that I fall short of the glory of God.

...But transitioning to a more philosophical note....If everyone really truly grasped the full power of those 20-some words depending on your translation.....we would not live in the world that we know now. I'm not saying all of our problems would melt away and we'd be completely carefree, but I am saying it'd be a heck of a lot easier to fulfill our purpose which God ordained...to love Him and worship Him forever.

Recently, I did some desperately needed cleaning of my emotional closet with God. There were a handful of things that I felt were dragging me down and they all centered around the ginormous love-problem we have as a society. I kept wondering why "so-and-so" didn't love me, why I'd been missing out on the fullness I could feel, why I didn't have this or that....why me.....and then I remembered that it's not about me. It's never about me. I'm just a selfish, self-centered poophead that gets really caught up in the RHIAshow. Everything that was ever created was created to point to Jesus as King forever and ever. I realized that all of these problems in my emotional closet were because I'd forgotten the complete AMAZINGNESS of john 3:16. The God of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE LOOOOOVVVVVEEESSSSS ....me!!?? Ohhh mannnnn!!!!!!! What a horrible point to ever miss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could go on and on and write your patience away with this topic so I'll make my point. Whoever you are.....probably the only person who reads my blog other than myself.....God L-O-V-E-S you! He hearts you! He adores you! He sent His perfect Son to go and die a horrific death just so you can be with Him! That's why it's not a show stopper if your friends don't love you, or your girlfriend or boyfriend. Those are privileges to have. It's not the end of the world if your family doesn't love you, even though it can MAJORLY SUCK!!!!


And it's not utter destruction if you don't love you, because HE loves you....more than you can understand, He does.


So please, on valentine's day, let Jesus be yours, because He's calling and asking "Be mine beloved, be mine."

Oh, For The Love Of GOD!

All of the awesomeness in the statement:

I GOT MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER TO BIOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

I attribute to the One and Only, Savior of the World :)
Go Jesus! Y Y

Oh sweet, fresh restoration

A dear dear friend of mine and I, who have faced many instances of opposition, finally were able to reconcile all of the past to the Lord and are freely able to fellowship without the bonds of bitterness raining lies into our friendship.

In honor of this restoration I wrote a poem, and my hope is that by publishing it on my blog, you may be spurred to reconcile with a friend or ex-friend that you've neglected for too long. If you are Christian, know that you were given the ministry of recocilation, just like Christ reconciled all sinners to the Father via the Cross. You are called to reconcile your brothers and sisters to yourself: Be blameless in all disputes by being the first to admit error and apologize...even if you didn't do anything wrong. God is sooo good to restore all that the locusts have eaten.




-Reconciled At Last-

Under browned leaves of loneliness,
On the tree of our past,
Memories of bitter conversations
Limply sway.

Crawling on cracked branches of brokenness,
Acrid emotions attempt to surpass,
The gloriousness of restoration
That weighs.

How wonderfully our new tree flourishes,
Sprouting blooms fast,
A strong friendship; God’s creation--
This shall stay.

Can one know a Lord more vast?
Who brought beauty from our ash.
Who, through love, worked transformation.
To Him be all Praise




Glory to our Lord who works all things for good
for those who love Him